Civil discourse is engaging in conversation intended to enhance understanding, characterized by respect, politeness, and a willingness to listen to differing viewpoints to help in resolving conflicts, building consensus and fostering a collaborative environment. Key behaviors of civil discourse are:

  • Respect: Treating all participants with dignity, regardless of their views.
  • Active Listening: Genuinely listening to what others have to say without interrupting or immediately planning a rebuttal.
  • Constructive Dialogue: Focusing on finding common ground and understanding rather than simply winning an argument.
  • Open-mindedness: Being willing to consider and reflect on others’ perspectives.
  • Politeness: Using courteous language and avoiding personal attacks or inflammatory remarks.
  • Evidence-based Arguments: Supporting points with facts and logical reasoning rather than emotions or unfounded claims.

Civil discourse is crucial for productive discussions in various contexts, including politics, education, and everyday interpersonal interactions. Engaging in civil discourse involves practicing several key skills to ensure effective and respectful conversation:

  1. Prepare Mentally:
    • Approach the conversation with an open mind.
    • Be willing to understand and respect differing opinions.
  2. Set a Positive Tone:
    • Start with a greeting and express a genuine interest in the other person’s views.
    • Use polite and respectful language throughout the conversation.
  3. Listen Actively:
    • Focus on what the other person is saying without planning your response while they are speaking.
    • Show that you are listening through nodding, eye contact, and verbal acknowledgments.
  4. Ask Questions:
    • Clarify points you don’t understand by asking open-ended questions.
    • Encourage the other person to elaborate on their views.
  5. Express Your Views Clearly:
    • Share your perspective calmly and clearly.
    • Use “I” statements to express your thoughts and feelings without blaming others (e.g., “I believe…” instead of “You are wrong because…”).
  6. Stay Calm and Patient:
    • Keep your emotions in check, even if the discussion becomes heated.
    • Take a deep breath and pause if you feel yourself getting upset.
  7. Avoid Personal Attacks:
    • Focus on the ideas and issues being discussed, not on the person.
    • Refrain from name-calling, sarcasm, or any form of derogatory remarks.
  8. Acknowledge Valid Points:
    • Recognize and affirm any valid points made by the other person, even if you disagree overall.
    • Show appreciation for their perspective and contribution to the conversation.
  9. Seek Common Ground:
    • Identify areas of agreement and build on them.
    • Highlight shared values or goals to foster a sense of unity.
  10. Agree to Disagree:
    • Accept that not all differences can be resolved.
    • Respectfully conclude the conversation if it reaches an impasse, acknowledging that diverse perspectives can coexist.
  11. Reflect and Learn:
    • After the conversation, reflect on what you learned from the interaction.
    • Consider how the exchange may influence your future discussions and understanding of the topic.

Practicing these steps consistently can help create a respectful and productive environment for discussing even the most contentious issues. As part of a civics education program, it is a skill for good citizens to engage in advocacy and governance within their community.

In the case of high school students engaging in activism and civil discourse, as they are not yet old enough to vote, activism, protest and civil discourse are the only methods available for them to change policy. The students who survived the Parkman shooting in Florida were lucky enough to have civics in their core curriculum, providing them with tools to engage policy leaders and advocate on their own behalf. Leaders like David Hogg, founder of Leaders We Deserve, are empowered by civil discourse to advocate for the issues important to youth.

Unfortunately, the loss of civics education courses as common core curriculum in American education has become a crisis for our citizens. Communities will benefit when civics is returned to the educational core curriculum. Until the 1960s, it was common for American high school students to have three separate courses in civics and government. But civics offerings were slashed as the curriculum narrowed over the ensuing decades, and lost further ground to “core subjects” under the NCLB-era standardized testing regime.

Here’s a beautiful carousel of personal expressions of cultivating civil discourse. Enjoy!